I’ve had a few birthdays in the past that have felt like BIG ONES. THIS, is one of them.

When I turned 26, that was the first time that I truly felt like I was getting older. Up until that point, all my birthdays had been some milestone of graduating into adulthood…

• 16 – driver’s license
• 18 – legal adult
• 21 – legal drinking age

THEN at 26 I said goodbye to my early 20s and I could see 30 fast approaching.

At 26 I felt old, and THAT was the birthday I started to cry on my birthdays.

THEN, I turned 30 and I stopped crying.

30 was a BIG ONE for me, but I was no longer scared about getting older. I was excited for my 30s.

I celebrated by putting on a tiara and hot pink feather boa and throwing myself a big ass birthday party.

My sister flew down to DC from Boston to celebrate with me. My friends bought me an awesome cake with a real picture of 3 year old me on it, and my hair stylist, Redouane, attended my party and fixed my hair all night long, making sure that it was always perfect and camera ready.

When I turned 30, I wasn’t sad or scared, but I felt like, “Where the hell did my 20’s go??”

Which is exactly how I feel today as I turn 45. I feel like, “HOLY BALLS I’m 45! How did that happen??”

Technically, I’ve lived 2.25 adult lives.

Turning 40 didn’t have this impact. When I turned 40, I was excited for another decade like my 30s, but even BETTER because I’m wiser than I was in my 30s.

But now, at 45, a part of me is freaking out because my early 40s are over and I’m on the fast track to 50.

HOWEVER, a LARGER part of me is GRATEFUL…

When I was 26, 45 seemed so old. But now that I’m 45, the number is big, but I still feel like I’m 29, and full of youth and excitement for what I want to be when I grow up.

At age 45, I’ve learned that part of the secret to eternal youth is to,

Give zero fucks.

Break the bullshit rules.

Do the shit that scares you.

If I hadn’t done any of the above, then I wouldn’t be rocking pleather pants and a thong body suit, with my hot bod and 100% natural hair color, while living La Vida Las Vegas, as the owner of my own multiple 6-figure and future 7-figure business.