I BATTLED WITH DISORDERED EATING FOR 15+ YEARS OF MY LIFE

YUP, that’s right. There was a time in my life that I used to only chew ½ piece of chewing gum at a time because I thought that 1 whole stick had too many calories.

I started taking classical ballet at age 3 ½ and while beautiful, there are also aspects of classical ballet that drive young girls and women to hate their bodies and straight into eating disorders. As a result, from ages 13-28, I battled with poor body image and disordered eating. By the time I was 15 I had 12yrs of the culture of classical ballet drilled into me and had instructors telling me from the time that I was 9 that I should lose weight. As if that weight loss would change the genetics of the shape of my body that I was born with so that it would fit the mold of a classical ballet dancer’s body.

At 15 I became obsessed with losing weight and counting calories and making sure the Stairmaster reported that I burned all the calories that I ate that day so that mentally I could feel like it was OK for me to eat dinner.

Until I was 28, I continued to waiver between healthy eating periods and periods when I would eat very little, or not eat, count calories, and exercise to burn off what I ate. Usually I would fall back into my dysfunctional eating patterns (or rather NOT-eating patterns) if I was experiencing change or stress in my life because controlling what I ate, what I didn’t eat and level of exercise was the one thing I felt like I could control when I couldn’t control stress or change.

This started to change when I was 28 as I was studying kung fu, lifting weights more seriously and teaching spin classes. As a result, I finally started to get fed up with being victim to this obsessive behavior. The more I engaged in these EMPOWERING activities, the more they helped me to focus on what I could DO and not how I looked or the number on the scale. As a result, I started to become stronger mentally and build a more positive body image.

I had my last dance with starving myself 15yrs ago and now my muscles, being strong, and what I can DO define my ideal and capable body vs. a number on the scale.

3 things in particular helped me to feel empowered to break free from the chains of disordered eating, poor body image, and low self esteem controlling my life,

1. KUNG FU – Not only did the wardrobe of an oversized t-shirt and baggy MC Hammer-like pants vs. a leotard in tights help me to stop focusing on what my body looked like, BUT martial arts also helped me to focus on what I could DO and not on the number on the scale or the shape or size of my body. Being strong, powerful and skilled was most important vs. trying to change the genetics of my body shape to fit an unrealistic mold for my body type or set point.
2. STRENGTH TRAINING – Strength training more consistently helped me to feel more confident, powerful and empowered with each strength gain and also to help me to focus on what I could do as I set performance goals like training for my hardstyle kettlebell certification and the Iron Maiden Challenge.
3. CAREER AS A STRENGTH & FITNESS COACH – As I started to teach spin classes and then transition into working as both a group fitness instructor and personal trainer, I realized how important it was to be a healthy and strong role model for my clients. I could not be a suitable role model if I allowed disordered eating and poor body image to rule my life.

It wasn’t easy to break free from these chains, but I worked hard for it because I wanted FREEDOM from my low self-esteem, poor body image and from caring what the number on the scale read.

The stronger I became mentally and physically through practicing intuitive eating, training in kung fu, and focusing on strength training, the happier I became and the more detached I felt from my past obsessive and unhealthy behavior.

My past shaped my philosophy and my approach to fitness and nutrition for the BETTER, which is to maintain a mentally and physically healthy homeostasis that you can realistically apply to daily life through a holistic and sustainable approach to macro balance and nutrition.

THIS is one of the reasons why I created my EmpowerU ONLINE coaching program – FITNESS, NUTRITION, MINDSET – to help women who have had similar struggles feel EMPOWERED to shift their mindset and actions to SUSTAINABLE, healthy, positive thoughts and behaviors.

I have 6 NEW spots available for my EmpowerU coaching program!